11/14/2023 0 Comments Infj dark thoughtsHe also understands that I need to emote and talk, and that shutting down is not often an option with me. Since we’ve discovered our personality types and used them to better understand ourselves, I don’t take this as personally as I used to. At our worst, I am pinging in the red zone of an emotional meltdown, and he is saying absolutely nothing (if there’s one type that can clam up on you, it’s an INTJ!). At our best, we can rationally discuss issues and come to a resolution that we can both live with. It has always been fairly uncommon for us to argue our shared intuition leads us to respect and encourage each other. These similarities must come at a price, I suppose, and it is this: the deep well of INFJ emotion versus overriding INTJ rationality. He’s frighteningly accurate, even in areas he’s not totally familiar with.Īt least in my experience, these two types are well-matched in strength of will, self-reliance, intellect, and intuition (though the INFJ probably has it there). But my husband can think deeply about and evaluate a situation, quickly deciding whether or not something will work. My grand ideas might be earth-shattering, but they may or may not be realistic I’m not always the best judge. I’m generally not a fan of details, so this ability continues to impress me. Then he will build it to look exactly like his drawings and comment calmly that he’s never built one of those before. But to say he is all implementation and no creative input would be inaccurate as well as an underestimation – he thinks about a project and studies it, then is able to recreate it in a drawing on paper. We complement each other well my abstract thinking jives with his detail-orientation and logistical tendency. I get the encouragement I need to socialize, even if from another introvert, and he gets to feel less hermit-y and boring compared to me. We’ve been married for 10 years, and he’s still the one encouraging me to get out and do something that includes leaving the house. I avoid talking on the phone (or, God forbid, FaceTime – the horror), shopping anywhere but online, and keeping more than a couple of friends, because all these require far more interaction than I’m interested in having. I haven’t had this experience in a relationship per se, but I’ve certainly been called anti-social more than once. He wanted to stay home most of the time, so she accused him of being boring. He was in a previous relationship with someone who enjoyed socializing regularly, and he describes this as a source of constant struggle between them. I had never met someone so much like me, but with more confidence. I think it was this that got my attention when I met my husband: he was self-assured, intelligent, wonderfully sarcastic, and aloof. I’ve also read that the intuitive bond between an INFJ and INTJ is nearly instantaneous, something I can certainly attest to. Of course these are generalizations, something personality theory as a whole is subject to. But I do believe the INFJ-INTJ relationship is often overlooked due to fear of too much introversion or an emotional mismatch. I would certainly not argue against these pairings, especially since I haven’t been romantically involved with either type. It turns out he’s an INTJ.īased on what I’ve read about the best relationship matches, the commonly recommended mate for an INFJ seems to be either an ENFP or ENTP. As soon as I was able to use it to explain my weirdness, I wanted the rest of my family to type themselves, including my husband. I am an INFJ who only discovered my type a year ago, but I haven’t been able to read enough about personality theory since.
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